Pseudopod Default

PseudoPod 145: Infestation


Infestation

by Matthew Piskun


Rachel comes in the through the garage door in the kitchen. She’s carrying a large green ceramic flower pot. Inside the pot is the weirdest flower I have ever seen. Its stem is thick and curvy like a jungle vine. It’s about seven inches tall and has little white bumps, like tiny blisters, all along the stem. The head of the flower is furry and yellow with large red and black petals, wavy and erect, just the way a kid would draw them. There are several layers of petals and their pattern is mesmerizing: black-red-black-red on one layer, then the next would interchange to red-black-red-black, et cetera. As she carries the flower into the house the petals give the illusion of spinning, like little wheels turning inside larger ones.

I say, “What the hell is that thing?”

“I have no idea, but isn’t it cool?”

“I guess…”

Pseudopod Default

PseudoPod 144: The Inevitability of Earth


The Inevitability of Earth

By David Nickle


When Michael was just a kid, Uncle Evan made a movie of Grandfather. He used an old eight-millimeter camera that wound up with a key and had three narrow lenses that rotated on a plate. Michael remembered holding the camera. It was supposedly light-weight for its time, but in his six-year-old hands, it seemed like it weighed a ton. Uncle Evan had told him to be careful with it; the camera was a precision instrument, and it needed to be in good working order if the movie was going to be of any scientific value.

The movie was of Grandfather doing his flying thing — flapping his arms with a slow grace as he shut his eyes and turned his long, beak-ish nose to the sky. Most of the movie was only that: a thin, middle-aged man, flapping his arms, shutting his eyes, craning his neck. Grandfather’s apparent foolishness was compounded by the face of young Michael flashing in front of the lens; blocking the scene, and waving like an idiot himself. Then the camera moved, and Michael was gone —

And so was Grandfather.

Pseudopod Default

PseudoPod 143: The Looking Men


The Looking Men

by James R. Kristofic

(also publishes as Jim Bihyeh)


Hiram knew his father, Jonah, could not refuse the Looking Men on the night they asked him to help kill William the Reeve.

Jonah had been the first villager of Corfe to speak to the captain of the Looking Men, the one called Sir Ethan the Red Greaves, after the Looking Men and their tall war-horses arrived by the main road to examine the first deaths from the Black Hand. The wandering friar of Corfe, a red-faced, balding man who had summoned the Looking Men, rode behind them on a bony mare. The friar had briefly addressed the free peasants who’d gathered at the mill and promised he would explain all in the morning after the Looking Men had rested. Hiram knew what everyone else knew about The Looking Men: they served the Church and bore scars from the Crusades to the Holy Land. But they were also knights loyal to their King Henry of England, so they could be trusted. And the friar promised they had come for the good of Corfe.

But the friar had died that night when the Black Hand had laid itself upon him.

Pseudopod Default

PseudoPod 142: Camp


Camp

by Jeremy C. Shipp


My muscles tighten. My teeth clench. My irritable bowel is seriously pissed off.

I’m no good at sitting.

“Hold it together,” my dad tells me. Not physically here, of course, but why would that stop him? Hold it together—that’s easy for him to say. He’s made of steel bars and rivets and bolts. Me, I’m held together with Elmer’s glue and pushpins and chewing gum.

Memories vibrate. They fall and crack open.

Pseudopod Default

PseudoPod 141: Flash on the Borderlands I

Show Notes

Theme music as usual: “Bloodletting on the Kiss” by Anders Manga
Additional music in this episode: rare rendition of “LabRatB” by Harmaline


“Jordan, When Are You Going to Settle Down, Get Married and Have Us Some Children?” first appeared online in The Harrow Vol. 11 No. 6, 2008.

“Thinking About Polar Bears” is a PseudoPod original.

“Exit Exam, Section III: Survival Skills, Question #7” first appeared online at Pindeldyboz, September 25, 2005.


Three flash fiction stories in one gut churning episode.


“Jordan, when are you going to settle down, get married and have us some children?”

By J.R. Hamantaschen


Beth, my most recent girlfriend, said I look like a hanged man when I walk because I always stare down at my feet.


Thinking About Polar Bears

By Mike Battista


I wake up exhausted. I hadn’t slept well. My heart still beats quickly; the aftermath of vaguely remembered dreams.


Exit Exam, Section III: Survival Skills, Question #7

by David Erik Nelson


7a) You are a werewolf. You kill and eat people. You are a vicious animal.

Pseudopod Default

PseudoPod 140: The Man Who Sank


The Man Who Sank

by Colin P. Davies


Niall is the worst of us. He’s meaner, more vicious, more crazy. He hates everyone: Jamaicans, Asians, queers…. Chances are he hates me as well. His Dad had been a violent waste-of-DNA and Niall intends to make us all pay. He doesn’t care about anything…and yet, only last Saturday, when we met up as usual, I found him anxious and attentive to every stranger on the street.

For half an hour, we’d been hanging around the launderette, hoping to spy at least one of the Jones twins, in their short skirts and ankle boots. Rain came down fine and bright in the orange warmth of the street lamps, and I felt colder than natural for an August evening. Jimmy sat on the bus stop bench, drinking. The canopy sheltered him from all but the strongest gusts. Somehow he’d got hold of a bottle of Woodpecker. Niall tried to light a cigarette in the open doorway of the launderette. He mumbled, “Shit, shit…” as he battled with the wind. Then he turned suddenly and gazed up the street.

“What’s your problem?” I said.

He cupped his hand around the lighter. “The wind….”

“No…you seem edgy. Are you expecting someone?”

“Maybe…I don’t know.”

Pseudopod Default

Chicago horror theatre – Revenants


For those within reach of Chicago through May 24, 2009, check out some live horror theatre:

Wildclaw Theatre presents Revenants

I was able to catch Wildclaw Theatre’s production of “The Dreams in the Witch House” and was greatly entertained. I haven’t seen “Revenants” yet but I notice it is getting quite promising reviews.

-Ben Phillips

Pseudopod Default

The Pseudopod Autopsy: Eight-Legged Freaks


Small towns have the worst luck. For fifty years they’ve been beseiged by martians, carniverous slugs, tunnelling prehistoric worms, vampires and most terrifying of all, B-movies. So if you live in a small town with a storied past and eccentric inhabitants beware. Because your town may be about to fall victim to…the Eight! Legged! Freaks!