Archive for Flash

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PseudoPod 644: Flash on the Borderlands XLVII: Horror Comedy Showcase

Show Notes

This episode of PseudoPod is brought to you by AMC Shudder. Check out Shudder’s great content at shudder.com and use promo code pseudopod for a free 30-day trial. What’s waiting for you in this trial? Shudder is a premium streaming video service, super-serving fans of all degrees with the best selection of horror and thrillers. Not only classics you know and love, but a couple less visible gems that we want to draw your attention to.

Firstly, The Old Dark House is a classic horror film created just before the Hays Code dropped, so there’s some content that is particularly shocking for its 1932 release date. This also was inspirational for a young Ray Bradbury and his Uncle Einar stories, which were inspirational for the artist Charles Addams. Secondly, Murder Party is an exceptional entry in the black humor end of the genre, made all the more striking if you know any struggling creatives. I first saw this at a horror film festival wearing my Army of Darkness shirt. One of the filmmakers greeted me at the door, and noting the shirt, assured me I would love their film. They were not wrong.

The thing I’m most looking forward to is the Shudder original series released this week — Critters: A New Binge. I have an arguably unreasonable affection for the Critters franchise, as they indelibly scarred me as a kid. Head over to shudder.com and use promo code pseudopod for a free 30-day trial.


“…and now, some excerpts from Cacophonus Audio’s forthcoming dramatic audiobook adaptation of Buzz Dixon’s 1980s horror classic…THE GERUNDING…”


 “It is precisely because we fear that which we fear that we are afraid of it. ”

—Larimo Kurlius, Intellecto Pretentioso


PROLOGUE

Luckinbill, Maine, 1807 B.C.

Konomoro, wisest of the witch doctors in the seven tribal councils, felt uneasy deep in his red heart. The Norseman standing before him was stark naked and drenched in blood that gushed from hundreds of ornate, foreboding runes carved in his body.

Surely this was an evil sign… (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 634: Flash On The Borderlands XLVI: The Accursed and the Monstrous

Show Notes

“Ecdysis” was previously published at Kaleidotrope (Spring 2016)

“Viens Jouer Avec Moi” and “End of the Line” are Pseudopod originals.


Music credits for “Viens Jouer Avec Moi”:


“End of the Line”:

Spoiler

In the summer, my daughter and I rode our bikes to the library. She sat on the grass while I returned some books. It only took a moment, but when I came back she was gone, and my heart dropped. I called out her name but couldn’t find her. I shouted louder and she appeared from behind a bush where she was looking at bees. For that brief time however, I felt a terrible, visceral fear. It made me think of how a parent might respond if their child disappeared unexpectedly. Just as she had gone looking for bees, I began to imagine a story where something nefarious tempts the child, spiriting her away and leaving just enough of a lure for the parent to ignore rational thought and to follow her.”

[collapse]


Ecdysis

by Kurt Hunt

narrated by Hollis Munroe


Only one rule: do not speak to them.

Even when they crawl into your room at night, their claws gripping the floorboards — do not speak to them. Even when their breath is hot on your tightly closed eyes, their double-jointed elbows braced against the headboard above you — do not speak to them. Even when they chitter about their loneliness — do not speak to them. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 624: Flash On The Borderlands XLV: Personal Narratives

Show Notes

“Ten Things I Didn’t Do” is a PseudoPod Original – “This was a story that I struggled with while writing it. I wanted it to have a happier, more heroic ending, but the story refused to bend: it stubbornly held on to its darkness.”

“Egg” was first printed at Aug 12, 2016 – Out of the Gutter Online

“People Watching” is a PseudoPod original  – “This story is, a little bit, about people who write stories.There’s something predatory about watching people as they go about their day and trying to extract inspiration from them.”


Ten Things I Didn’t Do

By Maria Haskins


  1. I didn’t die.

I promised you I wouldn’t, so I didn’t. I know you said the words in jest when you dropped me off at school, “Don’t die, honey!”, with that hoarse laugh and sideways wink you do, but I rolled my eyes and said “OK, mom, I promise,” and I don’t break my promises. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 619: The Ghost Guide’s Tale & The Halloween Parade


The Ghost Guide’s Tale

by Ian Stuart


Outside the Minster, every eventide,
You’ll see him wait- the smiling Ghostly Guide.
Top hat on head, dressed in Victorian fashion,
He’ll tell you stories full of gore and passion.
“For just three pounds I’ll chill your blood,” he cries.
And people pay him, though they know he lies.
At half past seven by the Minster clock
He’ll gather them to him, like a dog his flock
And fleece them.Then when all have paid him money,
He’ll charm them with a voice as sweet as honey.
Dead Romans,phantoms, corpses limp and gory
Drag bloodstained footprints through each shocking story.
From Minster on to Bedern and the Shambles
He’ll lead his nightly paranormal rambles.
Then, at the end, he’ll finish with a joke-
A jolly, cheerful, normal sort of bloke. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 616: Flash On The Borderlands XLIV: Objectification

Show Notes

FEINSTEIN: How did you decide to come forward?

FORD: Ultimately because reporters were sitting outside my home and trying to talk to my dog through the window to calm the dog down, and a reporter appeared in my graduate classroom and I mistook her for a student, and she came up to ask me a question, and I thought she was a student and it turned out that she was a reporter.

So at that point, I felt like enough was enough. People were calling my colleagues at Stanford and leaving messages on their voicemails and on their e-mail, saying that they knew my name. Clearly, people knew my address because they were out in front of my house.


The Stripper

by Heather N. Thomas

narrated by Nika Harper


She was living in squalor. At least, that’s what her friends had said and now she never saw them anymore. Their looks of disapproval with undertones of disgust were displaced, undeserved. It was bullshit.

She’d let some things go. Her apartment certainly needed a clearing of clutter and a good bleaching to get rid of the smell. Empty boxes and rancid food containers piled up along each wall. She couldn’t remember the last time she had taken out the garbage. She couldn’t be bothered. The place had been a shit-hole long before she’d signed the lease.

The pale blue glow of her computer screen was the only source of light. Her shuttered windows covered by thick black curtains blocked out the rest of the world. Her time was consumed with packages. So many packages. All she had to do was point, click, and they’d be taken away.

This had all started with her panties. A friend had once mentioned that she knew of girls that sold theirs for serious money. The idea was so absurd and degrading that they’d just laughed it off. Later her curiosity got the best of her and she searched online. Turns out lots of women did this and they were making serious money indeed.

(Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 601: Flash On The Borderlands XLIII: The Grinding of Gears

Show Notes

stick my hands thru the cage of this endless routine

just some flesh caught in this big broken machine


Suicide Vending Machine: “I was in the crisp white gleam of the car showroom with a coffee machine and a stopped clock, and I couldn’t imagine anyone ever being allowed to leave.”


Suicide Vending Machine

by Thomas Welsh


Good morning sir. I see from my paperwork that you have a budget of ten thousand dollars, but I’m pleased to announce that you can benefit from our “recommend a friend” discount scheme. Yes sir, it’s another three thousand, and you should certainly thank them the next time you see them. Or perhaps allow us to send them a message of thanks  on your behalf?

I am glad you asked! You absolutely can make a referral too. Don’t worry; I’ll remind you when we finalize our documentation. Just the name and location is all we need, we will pick them up.

Alright then, let’s begin! (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 589: Flash On The Borderlands XLII: Misanthropes

Show Notes

People are strange when you’re a stranger
Faces look ugly when you’re alone


Sam Gorenstein: “I’d like to dedicate ‘Edgar’ to my late uncle Conan Gorenstein, who passed away in 2013.”


A Bar Story

by Melissa Snark


The gangly youth scurried on long legs and over-sized feet. He stumbled on a cracked tile, but righted himself. Shoulders squared, Daniel Hollar ran a hand through his long orange hair, finger combing the frizzy mess. Hundreds of freckles peppered his pale face, and his green eyes were bright behind wire-rimmed glasses.

He slapped on a polite smile for the middle-aged man crouched on a stool at the end of the L-shaped bar. The customer’s arms rested on the counter, the diamond frame forming a protective barrier about the shot glass cradled between his hands. Sweat bullets lined the customer’s blotchy red forehead. A scraggly crown of damp hair stuck to the collar of his white dress shirt. His gut overhung belted dark trousers. He wore a clean gold band on his left ring finger and his clothing was made from fine fabric.

“Evenin’, sir. What’s your poison?” (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 576: Flash On The Borderlands XLI: Flash Fiction Contest 5 Winners

Show Notes

Third Place: The Taking Tree by Evan Dicken narrated by Karen Bovenmyer

Second Place: Legal Tender by Stephanie Malia Morris narrated by Alexis Goble

First Place: Two Step by Drew Czernik narrated by Austin Malone


The Taking Tree

by Evan Dicken


Governor Porter,

I deserve to die for what I’ve done, just please don’t bury me.

I’m reaching out because I got no one else. Even my lawyer keeps asking where the bodies are buried. I wish I knew. Then I could chop the damn thing down, but the tree don’t work like that.

I see it sometimes–out in the yard, beyond the prison fence–waiting for me. At night, I dread the moment when the heater clicks off and all that’s left is the rustle of leaves in the vents.

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. (Continue Reading…)