Pseudopod 76: Tales of the White Street Society

By Grady Hendrix

Read by Alasdair Stuart

A creak of the flooring caught my attention and I turned sharply, expecting to find my guide creeping up behind me with a jackblack in her hand and murder in her Irish eyes. Instead, I beheld a waif with a waxen pallor, protruding bones and papery skin, crouching just inside the doorway. Her furtive creeping was arrested when she saw me. Rising up to her full height she fixed her watery eyes on me and said:

“Harry don’t like you.”

Just as I was about to strike her for her insolence, her face slackened and she swooned. I stepped forward to catch her, then noticed spittle running from her mouth, and stepped back so as to avoid soiling my clothes.

For further adventures of THE WHITE STREET SOCIETY, please check out:

“The Corpse Army of Khartoum”

and “The Yellow Curse” in THE TRIO OF TERROR.

01
February 8th, 2008 7:13 pm

That was a great story! Top ten, def.

02
David
February 9th, 2008 10:41 pm

I get that this was supposed to be historical commentary, but when the main character is that big a jerk I still want to see him suffer horribly in the end, not go back to his nice place and share stories with his buddies.

03
February 10th, 2008 2:19 am

Excellent, educational, and inspirational. I learned two words. Also, as an act of solidarity with protagonist’s enlightenment in his opinion of the Irish, I purchased a lovely bottle of 12 year-old Tullamore Dew.

I hope that there are more Tales from the White Street Society in the future.

04
February 10th, 2008 10:56 pm

Hilarious and perfectly oriented to my perverse fascination with Victorian gentleman assholes. One of my favorite Pseudopods – well met, sir. I wholly concur with Simeon… more tales from this Society, please!

05
ScrambleSuit
February 12th, 2008 5:55 pm

David: You know it’s supposed to be funny right?

06
David
February 12th, 2008 6:19 pm

Yeah, I just wasn’t laughing until the scene with the leprechaun. Overall, I would have laughed much harder if the thing had eaten the jerk alive.

07
February 12th, 2008 8:53 pm

QUITE amusing and well done. Being Irish (and a gnome as well) let me assure David that we DO plan to eat the likes of this pompous narrator alive — or perhaps boiled with a bit of cabbage and a few vegetables.

08
February 13th, 2008 5:36 pm

“Enlightened boorishness”. Very funny; I spit coffee when the protagonist mused on the suffering of the Irish …
then struck a match, to alleviate it.

09
AmazingSteve
February 14th, 2008 8:43 pm

I made the mistake of listening to this at work today. At one point the story had me laughing so hard that I nearly tripped over my boss on the way to a meeting.

10
jazzmodeus
February 15th, 2008 7:30 am

Brilliant and hilarious. My favorite Pseudopod ever. I would subscribe to a White Street Society podcast in a heartbeat.

11
Patrick Malloy
February 15th, 2008 9:13 pm

I found that the Manx gentleman took too much pleasure in his rather broad treatment of the Irish nation.

The story did, however, have the best tagline in recent memory:

“… but a lifetime of reading and academic pursuits had made me cruel!…”

Ta

12
Fred
February 16th, 2008 1:12 pm

Listened to Tales of the White Street Society which was a great story. But does anyone know what song was playing in the very begining and at the end of the podcast? Had a techo/Skinny Puppy sound to it. I soooooo want this song!!!! lol Please someone help me!

13
February 17th, 2008 1:54 am

The theme song is “Bloodletting (On the Naked Kiss)” by Anders Manga: http://www.andersmanga.com

14
PK
February 19th, 2008 7:27 pm

“the potato homunculus”!!

15
Trash
February 20th, 2008 1:56 pm

This was a great story in itself, but Alasdair’s reading really put it over the top. Brilliant work (especially the accents). I’ll add my voice to the chorus of those clamoring for more Tales of the White Street Society in the future.

16
Grist
February 21st, 2008 1:45 pm

Amazing. I think I’ve listened to it about ten times.
Please, more tales from the White Street Society.

17
Leontseva
February 24th, 2008 8:23 pm

Yeah, everyone’s said it already but this was a great story – amusing, a little scary, mysterious. More, please!

18
Spork
February 26th, 2008 3:08 pm

Nice. Very nice.

I like that the truly horrific element is the gentleman’s treatment of those of a lower station. particularly how he thinks he’s in the right for torching a building full of people to the ground.

19
Matt
March 3rd, 2008 1:21 pm

In agreement with everyone else on this one; one of the best stories in some time. Well-read, clever, and very funny, in addition to being a well-executed original concept. Hopefully we’ll see more of this.

And, like someone else said, ‘the potato homunculus’ bit almost made me swerve my car from laughter.

20
Marc Buckingham
March 4th, 2008 3:31 am

I hope there is more tales from these characters. Brilliant.

21
January 24th, 2009 7:16 pm

I’m late in commenting, I know. But I had to jump in and say how much I loved this story! I’ve now (finally) listened to all the stories here on Pseudopod, and this one stands out as my favorite amongst all the other good ones.

Mr. Hendrix, if you’re reading this: more please!!

22
scatterbrain
March 12th, 2009 7:43 pm

I love the irony that the real devil for the Irish destitutes was the doctor who said he had come to save them!