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PseudoPod 953: If You Don’t Want a Cat, Don’t Get a Kitten

Show Notes

From the author: “I dedicated one of my stories, ‘If You Don’t Want a Cat, Don’t Get a Kitten’, to Brian Keene. His adventures with stray kittens are well-documented online, namely the humanitarian work he undertakes by trapping them, getting them spayed/neutered, and then socializing them before helping his local shelter find homes for them. This is one of many examples of Keene’s kind spirit. Thank you, Brian, for your wonderful work and for being a great colleague and friend.”


If You Don’t Want a Cat, Don’t Get a Kitten

by Sonora Taylor


For Brian Keene

Some men woke to the sound of roosters. Brent knew it was a new day when he heard a steady chorus of scratches outside his window. He rolled off of his lumpy mattress, the worn comforter askew over the stained and dirty fitted sheet. One sure sign that a woman didn’t live there was that his bedsheets hadn’t been changed in months.

Brent slipped into his moccasins and pulled a coat on over his pajamas. He stepped onto the porch and clenched his teeth at the sudden rush of cold that smacked his face. He rubbed his hands together.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one small orb stick up from a hole in the porch. Another, then another, until heads and arms slinked through various cracks in the worn wooden planks, each with the same morning call:

“Mew!”

Brent sighed. It was time to feed the kittens.


Brent hadn’t wanted a pet. But living near the woods meant that sometimes, pets came to you. Brent had been outside drinking coffee when he heard the first mew. He’d looked and saw one single kitten, a calico with orange eyes. It looked at him expectantly, as if the kitten had been there all along and it was Brent who’d moved into its space.

“Hey little fella,” Brent said, deciding the kitten was a boy. “Where’d you come from?”

The kitten blinked over a wet, blank stare, as cats tend to do.

“Is your momma here?”

“Mew!”

Brent surveyed the porch, but saw no mother cat. He had no neighbors to speak of for miles, so he didn’t think the kitten or his lost parent had an owner. He walked into the yard and saw muddy paw prints walking from the woods. He stooped for a closer look, and saw that the paw prints weren’t brown, but a deep red.

Brent jumped back. If a predator had attacked the kitten, he didn’t want them coming near him to finish the job. He rushed back to the porch, where the calico sat expectantly. His fur was clean, no blood on its tuft or its maw. Brent figured the morning dew that covered his moccasins had washed any remnants of the attack away.

“Mew!”

Brent didn’t want a cat. And he knew the old adage: if you don’t want a cat, don’t get a kitten.

But the kitten sure was cute.

“Okay,” he said, as if he’d had any choice in the matter the minute he saw those wide orange eyes. “But you have to stay outside.” (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 952: Onitsha Main, Ochanja, The Twins, Nkpor, and the Shadows of Shoprite


Onitsha Main, Ochanja, The Twins, Nkpor, and the Shadows of Shoprite

By Somto Ihezue


Onitsha Main.

It started with the garri sellers. Basin by basin, their grains went gray with mold. Stall by stall, they all shut down. The small-scale carpenters down by the port were next. With soaring prices, they could not afford to transport their production materials into town. The Abada textile dealers packed up their bales of fabric and locked them in a warehouse. They planned to wait out the crisis. One morning, they woke up and found the warehouse razed, their fabrics with it. The Abada women wailed. The Abada women rent their clothes and rolled in the dirt. The flames roared higher.

This, this was how they knew. Onitsha Main Market, the largest market in West Africa, had gone missing.

The town of Onitsha had never faced a crisis of this scale. Many bordering towns also relied on Onitsha Main for trade and business. His siblings, the other major markets in the town—Ochanja, The Twins: Relief and Head Bridge, and the youngest of them, Nkpor—had looked everywhere. They looked in the Niger River, Onitsha Main was not there. They visited their cousin Ariaria in Aba, their brother was not there. They looked in anthills, on camel backs in the Sahara, in tomato baskets, and in every uttered word. It was like Onitsha Main had ceased to exist. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 951: Last Supper

Show Notes

“Last Supper” is a follow-up to “Licking Roadkill”, which previously appeared at PseudoPod (ep 786, Nov 2021) and in the collection A Meeting In the Devil’s House.

From the author: “It’s [Last Supper] a standalone story, but if you tackle “Licking Roadkill” first, certain aspects will become clearer. The story is about the terrible things we ask of the ones we love, and what those things cost. And of course, it gets extra tricky if everyone involved is a werewolf….”


Richard Dansky (Facebook)

Richard Dansky (LinkedIn)

Richard Dansky (BlueSky)

Trendane Sparks

Chelsea Davis

Alasdair Stuart

PseudoPod 786

Fast Five


“Last Supper”

by Richard Dansky


The night I put down her brother, Cecily didn’t want to make love. I reached for her in the bed we shared in the massive farmhouse she’d inherited when she became leader of the pack, but she pulled away.

“Not tonight,” she said. “I don’t want those hands to touch me.”

“Is this because of your brother?” I asked.

She rolled over and stared at me, blonde hair flopping over one eye. “Of course it’s about Cole,” she said. “You killed him today.”

Carefully, I drew my hand back. “You know why I did it,” I said. Not accusing, just a statement of fact.

She let out an explosion of breath. “I know. I told you to do it. And someone had to. But I don’t want the hands that pulled the trigger on my brother touching me tonight. I need some time to mourn, and I can’t do that by sleeping with his killer.” (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 950: The Slow Music of Drums

Show Notes

Astute readers and listeners may be aware, or interested to learn, that the C in A.C. Wise’s name stands for Campbell. The property described in “The Slow Music of Drums” is, or was, a real place. The rest is made up. Mostly.


A.C. Wise

https://pseudopod.org/people/a-c-wise/

 

Wilson Fowlie

https://escapepod.org/people/wilson-fowlie/

 

Chelsea Davis

https://pseudopod.org/people/chelsea-davis/

 

Alasdair Stuart

https://pseudopod.org/people/alasdair-stuart/

 

Longplayer

https://www.trinitybuoywharf.com/whats-on/longplayer

 

The Tower That Ate People

https://petergabriel.bandcamp.com/track/the-tower-that-ate-people-3

 

High-Rise

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-Rise_(novel)

 

Westworld Season 3

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westworld_season_3

 

Gansey Bay

The Magnus Archives-Episode 159 Transcript

https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/159.html


The Slow Music Of Drums

by A.C. Wise


It was easier than I imagined, tracking down the last original member of Exquisite Corpse. My uncle left surprisingly detailed notes for a man with a disordered mind—left them, and then disappeared.

Died. Disappeared. I don’t know.

Julian was the name on my uncle’s birth certificate, but everyone called him Rabbit. We weren’t close when I was growing up, only after my own father died and I discovered that I had a lot more in common with my father’s brother than I’d ever had with him. We’re both prone to obsession, insatiable curiosity. It’s gotten me fired from more than one job, following my own line of interest rather than writing the story as assigned. Rabbit wasn’t a journalist, but I bet he was difficult to work with too.

I’ve been telling myself that Rabbit died, for the sake of closure, but I’m pretty sure that’s a lie. He mailed me a key, wanted me to follow him. Left a mystery for me to unravel, knowing I’d be the one to help my not-quite-aunt Jessi sort through his stuff once he was gone.

Before he vanished, Rabbit and I had been talking a lot on the phone. Late night calls—or early morning ones, depending on your perspective. The calls were mostly him rambling, me listening. I didn’t follow everything he said, but a few things stood out.

He said our family is cursed. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 949: Less Exalted Tastes


Less Exalted Tastes

by Gemma Amor


John Guthrie stood at the end of a long gravel driveway and stared in unadulterated joy at the largest mansion he’d ever seen. In the meagre light of an autumn day, the scrolled corbels, smooth limestone ashlar, and innumerable sash windows of the house shone with promise, a promise picked out in high relief by a fleeting sun that occasionally fought its way through heavy, rain-laden clouds. A storm was coming. The trees around him rustled with a quiet anticipation that he, in his excitable state, could not hear.

All John Guthrie could hear was the sound of money singing. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 948: A Relationship in Four Haircuts


A Relationship in Four Haircuts

By Ai Jiang


You met him on Etsy.

That’s right.

Not a dating app, but an online marketplace for small business owners.

You’d asked about a custom jade ring you’d been sniffing around for but never found one within your budget—until him. But what you didn’t expect was for him to break from his professional persona and ask for your hand in marriage with the same ring you were trying to purchase for $20.99 with 15% discount on top to boot. The ring was probably a knock-off, but still.

It had to be a joke, the proposal, surely, because your username had been CATSONLY_ and your profile picture was that of your British Short Hair’s belly. And he? Well, his seller’s name was BOUJEEMAN96, in a subtle but not so subtle attempt to hide the implied “69”, or maybe he was actually born in 1996.

And so begins your relationship, your Shakespearean tragedy, disguised as a romantic comedy. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 947: Will They Disappear

Show Notes

From the author: “This piece is based on the horrendous real-life story of Jennifer and Sarah Hart, two white women who adopted six Black children and then proceeded to abuse them for years. (In a ghoulish twist, they brought their children to Black Lives Matter rallies.) At every turn, the Harts used their whiteness to shield themselves from consequences, even as the children tried many times to get help. Finally, when the Harts feared that they might face some accountability, they drugged their children with Benadryl and then drove their car off of a cliff, killing everyone inside. This story depicts much of that abuse, but with a very different ending. The women in my story get a tiny helping of what the real-life Harts so richly deserved.”


Will They Disappear

By Cynthia Gómez


I’m only fourteen and I don’t look like much and I’ve lived in more foster homes than I can count on two hands but I’ve learned a lot of lessons anyway. Like: playing dumb is a real smart strategy, most of the time. So is playing weak, only showing my strengths when it’s the right time. I didn’t do too good a job with that one, but if the names “Jessica and Elizabeth Love” ring a bell, then I think you might just forgive me.

I was different from the other kids in every foster home for a couple of reasons, but here’s the biggest one: I can make things disappear. No living things, even though I admit it, I did try. Just on a potato bug. I was kind of relieved it didn’t work, honestly. I can’t do it with anything big, like whole buildings, probably because there might be living things in them. It’s only little stuff, like making a homework assignment disappear so I could say I never got it, and one foster father’s keys I kept taking away because I knew he was cheating and … okay, maybe I did mean that one to hurt? The family thought I was stealing, and that’s how I got kicked out. (Continue Reading…)

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PseudoPod 946: Toby and The Halloween Parade


Toby

By Brittany Groves


It’s a long walk from Founders Cemetery, but I am old, dying, and don’t mind the wait. (Continue Reading…)