by Celia Marsh
I cut myself when I was younger, trying to make my outsides match my insides. I slit my wrists in the bath the night that my mother told
me she’d only asked for custody so my father couldn’t have me. Slit them the right way, palm to elbow. I passed out from blood loss, but
woke when the water grew cold, pale new skin glowing beneath the dried blood, beneath the murky water. I could cut myself and watch it heal, almost before I put the knife down. Once I let the knife dig deeply while cooking dinner at my father’s house, through the bone in my
thumb. Even the nail was back by morning.
I’ve pierced my ears so many times I’ve lost count. If I sleep without earrings in they heal over before morning, and I must redo them before class, or go without earrings that day. Tattoos last longer. The colors melt back into my skin within a month, white and yellow first, blue and the black outlines last. By the time I moved back to my father’s house, the tattoo I would have gotten to annoy my mother would be all but gone. By the time I came back to her house, she would have forgotten it completely.
About the Author
Celia Marsh graduated from Kalamazoo College and returned to Michigan to attend the Clarion Writers Workshop in 2002. She spent several years living in Washington, D.C. and currently lives in a small town in Pennsylvania. She is an editor for the Fortean Bureau and a member of the Online Writing Workshop.
About the Narrator
Mur Lafferty is an American podcaster and writer based in Durham, North Carolina. She is the host and creator of the podcast I Should Be Writing. She was, until July 2007, the host and co-editor of Pseudopod. She was the editor and host of Escape Pod from 2010, when she took over from Steve Eley, until 2012, when she stepped down and was replaced by Norm Sherman in order to focus on her writing. In 2015, she edited Mothership Zeta for Escape Artists, Inc. She has returned to co-edit Escape Pod with S.B. Divya.
Mur is the 2013 winner of the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer. She was a finalist for the Hugo for Best Fancast for Ditch Diggers with Matt Wallace.