Pseudopod 015: Regis St. George

By Maria Deira

Read by Mur Lafferty

“Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Regis St. George hell,” he moaned.

“Yeah, I sent you to hell,” I said.

“Why, please, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa?” He looked at me, his crooked fingers pulling at his hair. I almost felt sorry for the little bastard.

Almost.

“Because that’s where you belong.”

“Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Deal. Regis St. George. Deal. Hell not deal,” he said, shaking his head.

“First of all, you ate my cat,” I said.

Regis St. George grinned at me, baring a mouth full of sharp, little teeth.

Today’s Sponsor:

01
Joseph
December 8th, 2006 10:45 pm

To answer the question in the intro: Yes (I listened to the book during rush hour traffic.) and No (I’m home now and all is better.)

02
oddpod
December 9th, 2006 2:04 am

nice

03
December 9th, 2006 10:30 am

I couldn’t help but picture Chris Kattan of SNL fame playing the role of Mr. Peepers…I mean Regis St. George during this whole story. That suddenly took this funny horror story and made it into a complete comedy for me. But I still thoroughly enjoyed the story. I’ve attach a website of Kattan as Mr. Peepers that i found on the web, but I’m not sure if people will be able to access it.

04
Vanamonde
December 11th, 2006 7:35 am

Felt the story was ok, but it seemed very dated to me. Reminded of a story from one of those horror films that contained several short stories (like Ayslum).

05
December 11th, 2006 3:59 pm

I really enjoyed it. Just kind of fun mindless horror, perfect for monday morning at work.

06
Spork
December 11th, 2006 10:46 pm

Pretty good. Overall, I enjoyed it.

Mur, your intro was much more natural and enjoyable this time.

07
Tiktok of Oz
December 12th, 2006 6:09 pm

Worked out for me that the demon was more appealing a character than the viewpoint character–I won’t call her a “hero”.

08
Brimmers
December 12th, 2006 6:36 pm

Now that’s more like it. As Gabriel says, “fun, mindless horror”. Also agree with Spork that Mur’s intro was more natural (although I kinda miss that huskiness from last week!). Well done.

09
drew
December 13th, 2006 10:02 am

I enjoyed the story quite a bit (although I’m curious as to whether she was just lucky that she summoned Regis St. George, or did enough research to summon him specifically because she thought she could take him…) and thought your reading was excellent Mur, especially Regis St. George’s lines. Plus I was glad to see another style of horror story. Thanks!

10
December 13th, 2006 12:07 pm

As a horror tale, this one was in the middle of the pack in terms of quality here at Pseudopod (I took issue with some of the conflicting dialog, i.e. “We didn’t do anything to you. We sent you to hell”).

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it. I liked especially how the true horror of the situation isn’t the presence of the demon, who is really a paper tiger, but the subversive evil of the protagonist herself. I kept thinking “Poor Jeremy”. This sort of subdued, selfish malice was a good blance against the more obvious ghosts and goblins that have run through here lately.

Mur, your readings and intros steadily improve with each episode. Nice work!

11
December 14th, 2006 10:33 am

Up there with ‘Bagman’, ‘What Dead People Are Supposed To Do’ and ‘Killing Jars’ as one of my favourites so far. I liked the small scale, I liked the mundane, almost dull demon and I liked the almost banal nature of the horror. Excellent stuff:)

12
December 15th, 2006 10:05 am

I thought this story was horrifying, but in a GOOD way. Regis St. George was creepy, the protagonist was creepy, and the whole situation was creepy.

I liked it.

13
December 15th, 2006 11:53 am

Count me in the “I liked it” category.

14
VewDew
December 16th, 2006 2:19 am

I like the almost nonchalant way that “Lisa Lisa” dealt with Regis St. George. This was one of the more enjoyable stories so far, for me at least.

15
phignewton
December 19th, 2006 6:32 pm

awww, this one needs a sequal…surely a tenacious critter like Regis St. George wouldnt be put off by a lil’ thing like having his head cut off… Lissssssa

16
December 31st, 2006 11:32 am

I don’t have much to add beyond what other comments have already said (I’m a bit behind on my pseudopods). I really enjoyed it, and have to say that Mur makes a great demon! (Just kidding, Mur!)

17
January 10th, 2007 9:35 am

Well done, both the reading and the writing.

18
Mari Mitchell
April 6th, 2008 11:51 am

This one was great. I listened with a special dark joy.

Do I hear, “Mur, Mur, Mur!”?

19
Cinnamon
June 9th, 2008 10:15 pm

18 months after first listening to this story, whenever I hear the name “Lisa”, Regis St. George is there to turn it in to “Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.” Definitely a story that has stayed with me.

20
Amber
January 19th, 2009 1:35 am

This is one of my favorites so far. I’ve listened to a couple in the future, “Bliss”, “Fetching Pepe”, “Locked Doors”, and “Liberation”. I’ve since then decided to start since the beginning. This was amazing and I loved it.

21
August 9th, 2009 3:13 am

Lisa Lisa Lisa!

Bwahaha. Loved it. Regis St. George needs to be a plushie with a talkbox. “Fuck you!” “Deal? Deal now?” “Lisa Lisa Lisa!”