Holiday – PseudoPod https://pseudopod.org The Sound of Horror Thu, 19 Jun 2025 00:07:53 +0000 en-US hourly 1 PseudoPod 980-B: Jesus Christ in Georgia https://pseudopod.org/2025/06/19/pseudopod-980-b-jesus-christ-in-georgia/ Thu, 19 Jun 2025 04:01:07 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=12254 The convict guard laughed. “I don’t know,” he said, “I hadn’t thought of that.” He hesitated and looked at the stranger curiously. In the solemn twilight he got an impression of unusual height and soft, dark eyes. “Curious sort of acquaintance for the colonel,” he thought; then he continued aloud: “But that nigger there is bad, a born thief, and ought to be sent up for life; got ten years last…

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]]> PseudoPod 835: Trickin’ https://pseudopod.org/2022/10/28/pseudopod-835-trickin/ Fri, 28 Oct 2022 04:01:48 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=10911 It’s time. Nestled beneath the rolling peaks from the mountain ranges, honeycombs of caves spread out in their like swollen slugs providing shelter from the weeping clouds. Raoul emerged from one of those caves. He scratched his scalp beneath his thick dreadlocked hair and squinted against the rain pouring across the lands. The black, whispery rain fell, chasing all indoors…

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]]> PseudoPod 790: The Humbug https://pseudopod.org/2021/12/24/pseudopod-790-the-humbug/ Fri, 24 Dec 2021 05:01:26 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=10389 Joshua caught it in a glass jar with holes poked in the lid. He came running up to the cabin with it, shouting, “I found a bug! I found a bug!” “There aren’t any bugs in winter,” Amanda said crossly, though no snow had fallen yet and the trees and ground outside were simply bare and gray. When Joshua placed the jar on the big, heavy dining table, however, there was no mistaking that a bug…

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]]> PseudoPod 737: Workday https://pseudopod.org/2020/12/25/pseudopod-737-workday/ Fri, 25 Dec 2020 05:01:01 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=9593 MEMO CORIVDAN INCORPORATED To: All Hourly Employees From: Human Resources Subject: Holiday Party Attendance Date: Nov. 20, 2018 Please RSVP to the holiday party by Friday afternoon. The event will be held the evening of December 21. Our caterers need an exact count of the number of people attending so that we don’t run out of food and refreshments. We will have a buffet-style…

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]]> PseudoPod 729: What We Talk About When We Talk About Cooking Country & The Halloween Parade https://pseudopod.org/2020/10/31/pseudopod-729-cooking-country-and-halloween-parade/ Sat, 31 Oct 2020 04:02:47 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=9411 BERTRAND COBB, host: This is What’s on the Table. I’m Bertrand Cobb. If you’re like me, the past few months have challenged your culinary capabilities. Anyone who’s listened to this show is aware that I’ve dabbled in the sweet science of baking. I have produced a number of edible breadbox basics. This includes current instagram favorites sourdough and banana bread. However, I’m no maître…

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]]> Home Harvest Cookies https://pseudopod.org/2020/10/31/home-harvest-cookies/ Sat, 31 Oct 2020 04:01:12 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=9397 It’s these cookies I’m always coming back to this time of year. The pumpkin, the spice, the little tea frosting. I started making them back in, oh it had to have been ’89. I was trying to figure out what to do now that the kids were finally all off on their own. My quilting guild tried to put it in my head that I was good enough to start up a bakery on my own. I’d sometimes whip something up and…

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]]> PseudoPod 697: Five Fridays During Lent https://pseudopod.org/2020/04/10/pseudopod-697-five-fridays-during-lent/ Fri, 10 Apr 2020 04:01:52 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=9128 You beg your son to try just one spoonful. He doesn’t. He sits rigid, his palms on his thighs, his almost-glassy, bloodshot eyes fixed ahead. There’s nothing there, only the old armoire filled with mothball-smelling clothes from three generations back. You try passing the spoonful beneath his nose. He loved your magiritsa, your son. Perhaps a story will do the trick, just like when he was a…

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]]> CatsCast 289: The Thing in the Basement https://pseudopod.org/2020/04/01/catscast-289-the-thing-in-the-basement/ Wed, 01 Apr 2020 07:00:37 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=9148 All cat stories start with this statement: “My mother, who was the first cat, told me this…” It is said that in Ulthar, which lies beyond the river Skai, no man may kill a cat; and this I can verily believe as I gaze upon him who sitteth purring before the fire. For the cat is cryptic, and close to strange things which men cannot see. He is the soul of antique Aegyptus, and bearer of tales from…

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]]> PseudoPod 681: A Night of Many Months https://pseudopod.org/2019/12/25/pseudopod-681-night-of-many-months/ Wed, 25 Dec 2019 05:01:07 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=8946 He’d wondered, when he started the job, why he needed a belt with so many holes. Now he knew–it fitted around him twice and felt like it needed tightening again. It took months to visit every home in one night and he’d lived every minute, surviving on what was left for him. In some houses it was mince pies and a glass of sherry. In others milk and cookies, and a carrot for the reindeer.

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]]> PseudoPod 680: The Wild Wood https://pseudopod.org/2019/12/20/pseudopod-680-the-wild-wood/ Fri, 20 Dec 2019 23:21:37 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=8895 It seemed to Margaret Abbott that her children, as they grew older, clung more and more jealously to the family Christmas traditions. Her casual suggestion that, just this once, they try something new in the way of a Christmas tree met with such teen-age scorn and genuine alarm that Margaret hastily abandoned the idea. She found it wryly amusing that the body of ritual she herself had built…

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]]> PseudoPod 672: In Regards to Your Concerns About Your ScareBnB Experience and The Halloween Parade https://pseudopod.org/2019/10/31/pseudopod-672-scarebnb-and-the-halloween-parade/ Thu, 31 Oct 2019 04:01:07 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=8827 Dear Mrs. Axelthorpe, I’m so sorry to hear your family had a negative experience at our ScareBnB. While we aim to provide an atmosphere of family-friendly spooky overnight fun, I see that with your family’s unique experience we’ve missed the mark. You’re right, the blood dripping down the stairs to the abandoned attic was a slipping hazard. However, we did have signs clearly stating that…

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]]> PseudoPod 670: The Devil Came to Mamie’s on Hallowe’en https://pseudopod.org/2019/10/18/pseudopod-670-the-devil-came-to-mamies/ Fri, 18 Oct 2019 22:09:38 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=8770 It was Hallowe’en night, and business was slow at the whorehouse. Leona didn’t put much stock in the stories that kept other folk indoors on this night. She’d laughed over stories about Jacky-Ma-Lantern, who’d once outsmarted the Bad Man and then couldn’t get into Hell or Heaven, and so on Hallowe’en he wandered around lighting his way with a coal kept in a pumpkin. She’d once seen the strange…

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]]> PseudoPod 619: The Ghost Guide’s Tale & The Halloween Parade https://pseudopod.org/2018/10/31/pseudopod-619-the-ghost-guides/ Wed, 31 Oct 2018 04:01:29 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=7603 Outside the Minster, every eventide, You’ll see him wait- the smiling Ghostly Guide. Top hat on head, dressed in Victorian fashion, He’ll tell you stories full of gore and passion. “For just three pounds I’ll chill your blood,” he cries. And people pay him, though they know he lies. At half past seven by the Minster clock He’ll gather them to him, like a dog his flock And fleece them.

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]]> PseudoPod 618: Goblins & Little Orphant Annie https://pseudopod.org/2018/10/26/pseudopod-618-goblins-little-orphant-annie/ Sat, 27 Oct 2018 00:10:05 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=7599 The undertaker lived with his wife in a long, low house in the farthest corner of the cemetery, built of dark brown stone that looked perpetually damp and covered almost completely with trumpet vines and creeping ivy. It had been the town’s mortuary once, before the mortuary facilities moved into a larger and more modern building a few blocks down the street. The undertaker’s house was only one…

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]]> PseudoPod 570: The Jamcoi https://pseudopod.org/2017/11/23/pseudopod-570-jamcoi/ Fri, 24 Nov 2017 00:43:44 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=3713

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]]> PseudoPod 522: The Christmas Spirits – A Tale of the White Street Society https://pseudopod.org/2016/12/23/pseudopod-522-the-christmas-spirits/ Fri, 23 Dec 2016 05:01:04 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=2522 You can have your Paris, your London, your Vienna, your Rome; for this good Christian there is no city more sublime than New York at Christmastime. As I walked to the White Street Society clubhouse I sucked in great gulps of cold Yuletide air until my lungs froze solid with Christmas cheer. My feet were numbed with holiday spirit as they tramped the icy streets. My face and whiskers were chapped…

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]]> PseudoPod 470: The Santa Claus Parade https://pseudopod.org/2015/12/24/pseudopod-470-the-santa-claus-parade/ Thu, 24 Dec 2015 22:57:06 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=1879 Some people think the Santas are smiling. The Company tries to weed out that kind of thinking pretty early on with videos from the eighties, people with big hair, shoulder pads, smiling in bleached out, crackling colours. There are diagrams about brain function. A specialist gave a talk on the subject but I slept all the way through it. Sweet dreams.

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]]> PseudoPod 466: Bad Newes from New England https://pseudopod.org/2015/11/26/pseudopod-466-bad-newes-from-new-england/ Thu, 26 Nov 2015 11:04:36 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=1850 This act of goodwill stirred great cheer in the people of New Plimouth and, with freshly raised spirits, they bade the Wampanoag enter; opened home and hearth in the spirit of God, and offered to share their modest bounty; whereupon the Wampanoag made entrance, each savage family pairing off with one of our own. I, Chief Massasoit, the chief’s bodyguards, Hobomok, Captain Standish…

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]]> PseudoPod 462B: Halloween Parade 2015 https://pseudopod.org/2015/10/31/pseudopod-462a-halloween-parade/ Sat, 31 Oct 2015 04:01:13 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=1830 The parade looks different this year. There are floats, there are always floats, but they’re interspersed with individuals. People who either bring the audience’s attention or simply refuse to allow it to be anywhere else. The first as always, is the woman in the suit and gloves and as always, she’s smiling. No one can quite remember where she came from. There’s just a hint of motion and…

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]]> PseudoPod Christmas 2014 Bonus Flash: Tradition https://pseudopod.org/2014/12/24/pseudopod-christmas-2014-bonus-flash-tradition/ Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:52:22 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=1448 It always starts when the leaves change colour. At first they’re yellow, then golden before fading to a russet brown. I like the red ones the best, even though you could say they are the most obvious sign of what’s to come. They give you a rake and they tell you to make piles of the leaves. Your parents I mean, not the leaves. Though that wouldn’t be all that strange, considering.

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]]> Bonus PseudoPod Halloween Flash: Jack And The Bad Man https://pseudopod.org/2014/10/25/bonus-pseudopod-halloween-flash-episode-jack-and-the-bad-man/ Sun, 26 Oct 2014 00:38:48 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=1385 Most of the year, Jack was a fine enough boy. He almost always remembered to put his dirty socks in the hamper instead of under the bed. He certainly never hid his mama’s darning needles – except for when she deserved it. And if he occasionally didn’t go to sleep right when he told his papa he would, it was only because he was too afraid of the dark to turn out his light – and who can sleep with…

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]]> Bonus Christmas Flash 2013 – Helpers https://pseudopod.org/2013/12/24/bonus-christmas-flash-2013-helpers/ Tue, 24 Dec 2013 17:11:17 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=830 The boy crept out of the front door, distant streetlamps bouncing dim reflections off his smooth cheeks, breath misting in the chill air. Pete couldn’t help but smile. The boy was just the right size, old enough to have grown some real muscle but still well short of being a man. He was downright plump compared to the half-starved urchins Pete was used to. Strange for a boy with a family to be out…

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]]> PseudoPod 362: Go, Go, Go, Said the Bird https://pseudopod.org/2013/11/29/pseudopod-362-go-go-go-said-the-bird/ Fri, 29 Nov 2013 23:50:44 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=771 Think of it, she conversed in great gasps with herself, leaping over a crevasse where a southbound lane had split off from the main runway. Think of it, she insisted, scarcely having breath left but unable to control her mind, which was galloping faster than her weary legs. I’m only thirty, I’m unique, there’s no one in this world, this universe, who is me, with my memories…

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]]> Bonus Christmas Flash 2011 – Coming Home https://pseudopod.org/2011/12/23/bonus-christmas-flash-coming-home/ Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:02:01 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=371 “My mouth is sour with whiskey and the loaded shotgun lays heavily across my lap in my sofa chair. This is my Christmas Eve ritual.” Read the full text here: Gothic.

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]]> Pseudopod 260: Saint Nicholas’ Helper https://pseudopod.org/2011/12/16/pseudopod-260-saint-nicholas-helper/ Fri, 16 Dec 2011 04:01:04 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=369 Saint Nicholas looked just like he did in the picture stories: tall and thin, with a grand white beard that flowed to his waist. He wore a red-fur trimmed coat, a tall bishop’s hat, and clutched a gold staff. He smiled and said something, but Greta wasn’t listening. She hid behind her elder sister Heike and stared at the saint’s demonic assistant, Krampus. A wooden mask covered the demon’s face…

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]]> Pseudopod 259: To My Wondering Eyes Did Appear https://pseudopod.org/2011/12/09/pseudopod-259-to-my-wondering-eyes-did-appear/ Fri, 09 Dec 2011 04:01:39 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=367 A figure obscured the flames of the fireplace: a man. Bettia sat up quickly, blinking away sleep, thinking it was her father. But this man was shorter, rounder, and part of her groggy mind considered Santa Claus, and that she must have slept for days. Her eyes adjusted and she could see that the man indeed wore a red shirt. Not like a dumb mall Santa, but a working man’s shirt: rough and stained…

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]]> Pseudopod 253: Trying To Stay Dead https://pseudopod.org/2011/10/28/pseudopod-253-trying-to-stay-dead/ Fri, 28 Oct 2011 05:01:30 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=361 Trying To Stay Dead by Richard S. Crawford. Doctor Bell’s assistant led me into the tiny exam room and gestured at the leather-padded chair in the center. ‘Are you ready to do this?’ she asked, smiling. I hesitated. I’d been psyching myself up for an animectomy for two months, but now the exam room gave me pause. It reminded me of a dentist’s office: The chair in the center of the room sat…

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]]> Pseudopod 218: Flash on the Borderlands V https://pseudopod.org/2010/12/24/pseudopod-218-flash-on-the-borderlands-v/ Fri, 24 Dec 2010 05:01:05 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=308 On the third day of Christmas, the Devil brought to me… By A. Nathaniel Jones Narrated by Ben Phillips As I walk home, I hear crackling bones under my feet. I smile thinking of everyone who died so that I may have something to walk on. Every dead body built this city with whatever small pieces of themselves they left behind. By Marie Brennan Narrated by Ben Phillips “Cut out her…

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]]> PseudoPod 166: Something There Is https://pseudopod.org/2009/10/30/pseudopod-166-something-there-is/ Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:01:48 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=245 Something There Is by Joe Nazare As if reading Montresor’s thoughts, Luchesi reached down toward his feet; his hand came back proffering a long-necked bottle. “Here,” he spoke in a conspiratorial whisper, after shooting a look towards the palazzo’s attendant-less hallway. “Medoc — what I just happen to have handy with me, you understand. But it should serve as a worthy substitute.”…

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]]> Flash: Stepfathers https://pseudopod.org/2009/06/20/flash-stepfathers/ https://pseudopod.org/2009/06/20/flash-stepfathers/#comments Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:01:34 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/?p=198 Stepfathers by Grady Hendrix Read by Nerraux He’d spent his free period reading up on the Lurker at the Threshold, the All-in-One and the One-in-All, the Opener of the Way, and now he tried to detect the signs of Its presence. But nothing smelt like the stench of the grave. No hideous ichor was seeping out from underneath his bedroom door. The upstairs hall was painted the same robin’s egg…

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]]> https://pseudopod.org/2009/06/20/flash-stepfathers/feed/ 15 PseudoPod 017: Upon The Midnight Clear https://pseudopod.org/2006/12/22/pseudopod-017-upon-the-midnight-clear/ https://pseudopod.org/2006/12/22/pseudopod-017-upon-the-midnight-clear/#comments Fri, 22 Dec 2006 05:22:00 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/2006/12/22/pseudopod-017-upon-the-midnight-clear/ She was mercifully quiet for a while, as though thinking of something to say. “Must be difficult, though, travelling on your own. Dangerous, even.” I laughed, probably for the first time since the plane landed. I’d heard that too often before, too. “Dangerous? This place?” She looked and sounded sincere enough, though it was hard to be sure with that make-up and accent. “I teach jeet kune do…

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]]> https://pseudopod.org/2006/12/22/pseudopod-017-upon-the-midnight-clear/feed/ 17 Flash Fiction: From Famine to Feast https://pseudopod.org/2006/11/23/flash-famine-to-feast/ https://pseudopod.org/2006/11/23/flash-famine-to-feast/#comments Thu, 23 Nov 2006 05:01:12 +0000 https://pseudopod.org/2006/11/23/flash-famine-to-feast/ The boy’s face was a thick, fluid rendering of blowflies. They crusted his eyes like false lashes, and crawled around his chapped, broken lips, their shimmering wings vibrating against their fat black bodies. The boy’s stomach was distended; he looked like a spoon, with the bulging, swooping curve of his gut leading into his rail-thin upper body. His ribs protruded; it were as though he had…

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