Pseudopod 408: Knife Fight

by David Nickle

“My piece of advice: look seriously at all the candidates in the next election wherever you live, because your vote counts.”

DAVID NICKLE is a Bram Stoker award winning author of several novels and numerous short stories–most recently, “The ‘Geisters” from ChiZine. He is also the head of the Toronto City Hall Press Gallery, where he has worked the last four years covering Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. His story collection Knife Fight and Other Struggles from ChiZine Publications is coming out as the podcast goes live, on October 21.

Dave Robison‘s buttery man-voice has been making the rounds on the internet of late, appearing on a recent episode of the Drabblecast, as well as performing in the exceptional “Hidden Harbor Mysteries” audio drama (produced by Bryan Lincoln and written by Jay Smith). He’s slated to narrate the audio book for Tim Marquitz’s novel DEMON SQUAD: RESURRECTION, and rumor has it he’ll be narrating some of the premium content at EscapePod as well. Founder and host of the Roundtable Podcast, Dave is stretching his creative legs, collaborating on a novel with Alasdair Stuart and Colin F. Barnes slated for release sometime in 2015. He figures he’ll get a full night’s sleep sometime around 2019.

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“There are only ever two combatants in a knife fight, and each combatant is allowed a knife.

The knives are to be provided by the combatants, in a keen, clean condition free of rust. Other objects—scissors, hammers, axes, surgical instruments—shall not be considered knives for the purposes of the knife fight.

Combatants shall arrive stripped to the waist, and well-lubricated so as to keep the knife fight from becoming a wrestling match, which is unseemly.

Goose fat is considered an acceptable lubricant for the purposes of a knife fight.

Victory in the knife fight is usually decided by the drawing of first blood.

Combatants shall avoid their opponents’ faces, hands, and throats, confining their strikes to parts of the body usually covered by appropriate business attire.

In the event that both combatants draw blood from one another in the same instant, the knife fight shall be considered a draw and entered into the Records as such.

To the victor go the spoils.”

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The Journey Into kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/763571195/edgar-allan-poe-meets-ken-scholes-a-journey-into-e/posts

The Ghostwoods Books Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/960264226/ghostwoods-books-our-2014-15-list-of-6-to-8-books

Pseudopod 344: The Pit

by Joe. R. Lansdale

“The Pit” originally appeared in THE BLACK LIZARD ANTHOLOGY OF CRIME FICTION (1987) (“and this was the original Black Lizard line, before it was owned by Random House”). Joe describes the story as “Alice In Wonderland meets Southern Gothic.”

JOE R. LANSDALE has written over thirty books, and numerous short stories. He has won a multitude of awards, including the Edgar for his novel THE BOTTOMS, and his novella BUBBA HO-TEP was made into the popular film starring Bruce Campbell. His current book is EDGE OF DARK WATER, and forthcoming in September is THE THICKET, both from Mulholland Books. Joe blogs here and you can also follow him on Facebook.

Your reader this week – John Bell – is the president, CEO, and Lord Emeritus of John Bell Creative, LLC. Need voices, writing, or production? Write jbellvoice@gmail.com. If you like odd books (imagine Douglas Adams meets Timothy Leary) go get the audiobook version of THE BIG BLEEP. Coming soon, probably in August, another book voiced by yours truly: REVELATIONS. In the meantime, catch the laughs at Bell’s In The Batfry.

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“Six months earlier they had captured him. Tonight Harry went into the pit. He and Big George, right after the bull terriers got through tearing the guts out of one another. When that was over, he and George would go down and do their business. The loser would stay there and be fed to the dogs, each of which had been starved for the occasion.

When the dogs finished eating, the loser’s head would go up on a pole. Already a dozen poles circled the pit. On each rested a head, or skull, depending on how long it had been exposed to the elements, ambitious pole-climbing ants and hungry birds. And of course how much flesh the terriers ripped off before it was erected.

Twelve poles. Twelve heads.

Tonight a new pole and a new head went up.”

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