“Fade to Gold” was first published in End of the Road, edited by Jonathan Oliver (Solaris Books, 2013).
BENJANUN SRIDUANGKAEW Benjanun Sriduangkaew writes love letters to the future and beautiful bugs. Her fiction has appeared in Tor.com, Clarkesworld and Beneath Ceaseless Skies, among others. She blogs at beekian.wordpress.com and edits fiction for Harlot Media.
This week’s reader – Jen Zink is a stay at home mom and podcaster with a love of all things science fiction and fantasy. You can find her on twitter @loopdilou or on The Skiffy and Fanty Show (http://www.skiffyandfanty.com or on twitter @skiffyandfanty), which she produces and co-hosts. The Skiffy and Fanty Show is a weekly podcast and active blog featuring anything and everything related to the science fiction and fantasy genres, with commentary on controversial topics and news in literature, film, and interviews with authors, scientists, and filmmakers.
They say the afterlife is a wheel and that is true, but I am between and so for me the way is a line. It unspools interminably into a horizon that shows the soft gold of dawn, always just a little out of reach.
Before the war this was only packed earth and grass and dirt to me; before the war I trod this path from home to capital thinking of the sweetness of rare fruits. Now that my back is to Ayutthaya the ground is sometimes baked salt where nothing grows and sometimes wet mud bubbling with the voices of the dead. Inside my arteries there is blood which throbs and pumps, and my belly growls at emptiness as might a bad-tempered dog. But it is difficult to be sure, after so much soldiering, that one is still alive. It is difficult to be certain this is not all a fever dream.