Pseudopod 227: Man Eat Man

Man Eat Man

by Mike Irwin

The Dumpster Kid is already recounting the tally behind Uncle Sam to make sure that there’s no foul play. When they finish the first vote, he puffs out his chest and in a slightly deeper voice says, ‘Now all those against.’ Again the two go competitively counting heads.

‘Sixteen for.’ Sam says

‘Sixteen against.’ The Kid corrects.

Look at that Corinne: your glass is half full, or half empty that is.

‘So do I shoot her?’ Miller asks.

Uncle Sam shrugs and says, ‘It’s a tie.’ Then she turns to face me, my fat head a dark, inhuman red as I struggle to keep the door closed against the increasing intensity of your attacks. ‘Shoot, only one who didn’t vote was you.’

And just like that, the rest of your life is in my hands.

About the Author

About the Narrator

Josh Roseman

Josh Roseman (not the trombonist; the other one) lives in Georgia and makes internets for a living. He has been published in — among others — Asimov’sEscape Pod, and Evil Girlfriend Media, and has work forthcoming (or already released) in 2016 from Abstract JamStupefying Stories, and The Overcast. His reviews appear regularly at (he’s on the forums as Listener). In 2015, he released his first collection, The Clockwork Russian and Other Stories. When not writing, he mostly complains that he’s not writing.

Check out his story Secret Santa, which appeared on The Dunesteef.



Find more by Josh Roseman