Flash: Stepfathers

By Grady Hendrix

Read by Nerraux

He’d spent his free period reading up on the Lurker at the Threshold, the All-in-One and the One-in-All, the Opener of the Way, and now he tried to detect the signs of Its presence. But nothing smelt like the stench of the grave. No hideous ichor was seeping out from underneath his bedroom door. The upstairs hall was painted the same robin’s egg blue that it’d always been and it was not suffocating beneath an encrustation of poisonous mold that glowed a deathly, bioluminescent green. He took a deep breath and opened the door to his bedroom. Yog-Sothoth sat at the end of his bed, absorbed in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4.

“Hey,” Billy said, dropping his book bag.

“Hold on,” Yog-Sothoth said without looking up. “I have almost… accomplished my… Pro Challenge.”

Happy Father’s Day!

01
June 20th, 2009 12:25 pm

This is a fun little story, with humor and a bit of heart, not to mention a goodly number of in-jokes for the Lovecraft fans among us. Grady Hendrix is fast becoming one of my favorite authors, definitely tops in the humor/horror vein!

I also enjoyed the reading, with Yog-Sothoth’s voice having just the right blend of other-worldly horror and dull mundanity. Having done a few different illustrations of this particular entity over the years (for games and books) I can say that I’ll never draw him again without hearing that voice in my head.

02
SerTyrion
June 20th, 2009 2:26 pm

Fun little story. I liked it alot. And I hope we can get some more stories narrated by Nerraux.

03
phignewton
June 20th, 2009 3:35 pm

‘Yog-Sothoth married my mom!’ .. why has nobody made this movie yet??!!

04
June 21st, 2009 9:48 am

That was a fantastic Lovecraftian story. I loved it!!!

05
Boondocker
June 21st, 2009 11:13 am

Reminds me of this Perry Bible Fellowship comic:
http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF154-Zuthulus_Resurrection.jpg

06
Natasha
June 22nd, 2009 5:27 pm

Great little story, I loved it!

07
June 24th, 2009 11:30 am

It was fun to read, I hope I did it justice. Thanks for your comments!

08
June 24th, 2009 1:09 pm

I lol’d. It made me want to play munchkin cthulhu.

favorite sentence____________________________
“The upstairs hall was painted the same robin’s egg blue that it’d always been and it was not suffocating beneath an encrustation of poisonous mold that glowed a deathly, bioluminescent green.”

I would date billy’s mother if it weren’t for the lurking fear of crossing a socially awkward elder god.

I never heard nyaralathrotep’s name pronounced. You learn something new every day.

09
June 24th, 2009 1:43 pm

I already told you my thoughts elsewhere!

POST COUNT +1!

10
June 24th, 2009 8:56 pm

That’s fun story! I know nothing about Lovecraft…but it was told well…awesome!

11
Grady Hendrix
June 26th, 2009 11:00 am

Thanks for the comments. I wrote this a while ago, as you can tell by the Outkast reference. But I thought the reading was great. My one quibble was that I always imagined Yog-Sothoth speaking with a voice that had the low, bass rumble of a thousand, thousand bones being ground into dust between great stone fingers the size of tectonic plates, but I think that’s difficult for the human voice to reproduce. I tried it once and just sounded like Bob Barker.

12
J
July 2nd, 2009 4:48 pm

are you implying that bob barker is not an eternal cosmic horror?

13
Hel Zalazar
July 26th, 2009 2:51 am

… Makes me want a Cthulhu plushie all over again.

14
August 11th, 2009 3:29 pm

That was hysterical! I frickin’ loved it.

Do you post transcripts of the pods?

15
August 18th, 2009 3:59 am

Cora’Sahn, we don’t post transcripts because we only buy audio rights to stories — it’s legally easier on all involved for a few reasons. When I’m aware of text versions already online I’m always happy to link to them, but it’s the exception rather than the rule.