Ten minutes in. Still waiting.

Ten minutes after that. Still waiting.

Ten minutes after the podcast ended. Still waiting.

And now? I’m still waiting…I want something from this story it does not have…nor can BJ West write what I want to make it better…

Why did the medicine man speak to her in perfect English one moment, and then not the next? Why were there no Miwok dead walking around getting hugs instead of drugs? Why wasn’t the reverend around to denounce the whole affair? What did the town smell like? I mean, come on! How many stories do you think you need to run with nary a sensory description of place?

It would have been nice to have seen a price the people had to pay - for example, the dead rise, visit their living, but in exchange for this one of the living has to return with the dead each time. And they could have had a lottery or just randomly picked someone who was dragged back to the cemetery - never to be heard from again. Better yet, they would sacrifice one of the new villagers who didn’t know what was going on. This could have gone a lot of ways, happy ending was not what I was looking for though.

I didn’t see how the reverend fit into the story either, other than to fill out the word count - he shows up in the beginning - suit looking brand new - and then just goes away. Like that old writing rule - if you show the reader a gun in the first couple chapters, it better go off by the end of the book. I kept waiting for where mr. new suit was going to come back into the story. I thought maybe he was going to end up being a supernatural being that eats the souls of the dead (which is why some dead don’t come back) or was going to end up showing up to the heathen gathering and shooting the Indian medicine man as a devil worshiper - thus ending the dead visiting forever in the name of religion and righteousness.

In order for this to be disturbing, I felt like there had to be some price to pay that would leave the villagers with a moral issue, rather than just a gift from the Indians. Whether it was a living person going back with the dead, or a soul being eaten by the preacher - instead of just “Look, it’s some dead people come for a visit, huzzah!”

Maybe I just need my horror to be a little less subtle than this piece appears to be.

Well, this is the first time I re-listened to a Pseudopod episode just to make sure I wasn’t missing something after reading some comments.

Ending all there (IE - I wasn’t somehow missing some actual part of the story)? Check. Deftly handled undermining of expectations second time around, now that I know the ending? Check. Complete lack of horror? Uhhhh, yeah? Check?

Yet another well-written little fantasy story that should have gone onto PodCastle because it’s not horror - by that I mean, the author is not trying to scare or disturb us…or even weird us out.

The townspeople are happy. Some mare even making out with the risen dead so they can;t be hideous or anything. The Indians are, at least, stoic (although as someone points out on the outside comment board - don’t they get to see their dead in the paltry minutes an eclipse takes?). The main character is left sad and angry because she doesn’t get to share in the miracle but we don’t know why…and we’re not going to know why because the story is over…so, to what end?

Like I said, well-written. Nice dialog. Good pacing. There really should have been an earlier indication as to what time period we were in, as other have also pointed out (and I think dropping the early use of a word like “sandblasting” probably would have helped as well). The eclipse conceit is a little much - the narrator’s friend saw here husband “about a year ago”? Seriously? - but it is a fantasy story and how many natural phenomena do you get to choose from, anyway?

The reader should have actually paused for a moment or two between scene breaks because they were all running together - the sun was setting, had set, was up, etc.

Still, an okay if flawed story but yet another fantasy piece. I don’t need gore, I don’t need violence, I don’t need the supernatural - but what I DO need out of a purported horror story is an indication, even if it’s unsuccessful, that the writer intended for the reader to be frightened or disturbed. That’s all.

Thanks for listening.

“My grandfather used to say to me ‘After you’re born, everything else is a bonus.’ But some people never get born.” Gail Madonia “Acid Soap Opera” (1971)

No one will be seated in the theater during the “mute fellow takes an hour to write down his explanation” scene!

Thanks for listening.

“Life is painful and disappointing. It is useless, therefore, to write new realistic novels. We generally know where we stand in relation to reality and don’t care to know any more.” Michel Houellebecq, H.P. LOVECRAFT: AGAINST THE WORLD, AGAINST LIFE

:eric

I really enjoyed this story. I didn’t see the the “twist” of the travelers coming ahead of time, and I liked how that changed your perception of the story so much earlier on.

I did notice some of the things Mari pointed out as well (was jarred when I found out the timeframe of this story and also wondering what the spirits looked like, though I figured they must have looked pretty good to get hugs and tearful reunions).

Good stuff, and Leann Mabry’s voice is always very easy on my ears.

The description was light but filled out the story nicely.

I do wish I had more of a feel of a time period earlier on in the story. I had to change the picture in my head.

As soon as they told it was an indian cemetery, I was sure the dead would be coming back.

I liked the use of details and the use of the indian culture.

I would have liked to have know if the travelers looked like. I guess we should think they did when they were alive.

The ending was lackluster for my tastes.

I’ll keep an eye for an angle. Of course its in a jar and not mine…